


We Must Be Killers

by NikaAnuk



Series: To be continued? [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alex is growing up, F/M, Fluff, Fucked up teens, Gen, Hunting, M/M, Moose, Norway (Country), Parenthood, Parentlock, Post-Reichenbach, Sebastian is really trying, Sexual Content, but young Alex is a bit like Damien, killing an animal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2017-12-23 22:07:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikaAnuk/pseuds/NikaAnuk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is how Alex found him: kneeling on the floor in the kitchen, with the bowl and a towel, washing off his father's body. Sebastian cursed because boy was the last thing he needed. James made a child some woman a couple of years earlier and recently he took the baby to his house. It was his family, he was saying, Sebastian and a child, they were living together and Sebastian knew better than to tell him that killing a woman who was boy's mother isn't exactly what fathers do. What he knew anyway?"</p><p> </p><p>It's a second part of 'To be continued?' but you don't have to read the previous one, for now they are separate stories.</p><p> </p><p>This one is for SatansLittleDoctor who asked the right question in the right time. Thank you, darling, you made me finish this one. I hope you enjoy at least a little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Commander_I_Should_Go](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commander_I_Should_Go/gifts).



> I owe lovely [ DocWhoGirl ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DocWhoGirl/pseuds/DocWhoGirl) a thousands of thanks for her help.

1.  
Sebastian leaned over to pick up one of James' ties. He threw it inside big box and straightened to look around. The night before he had really bad day and he almost demolished James' flat; today, when he woke up he saw Moriarty's clothes throw around, the whole flat smelled his perfume after Sebastian smashed the phial – he did not remember it. He was wandering around the flat collecting things which were lying on the floor, on the couch and armchairs even one pair of Calvin Klein in the sink; Sebastian dimly remembered that he tried to wash off James' smell out of them.   
Moran was none a man of sentiments, he usually hardly noticing that someone is interested in him. He used to fuck people he find attractive but there was never more than just sex. At least until he met James Moriarty. This short Irish put in doubt almost everything Sebastian thought he knows about himself. First of all he moved in because James wanted him to, secondly he agreed to cook – again because James wanted him to do so – and he agreed to work only for him. One morning Sebastian found himself shaving before the mirror, thinking that James likes him like this. And this was the day he almost left him. But one cannot simply left James Moriarty and a scar down his stomach still reminded him about this. If James wants you, you are grateful and you try not to die.   
Life with him was like fucking nightmare sometimes, like endless rollercoaster of sex and shouting, cuddling on the couch and killing people, of torturing and hot baths. And somehow Sebastian loved it.   
So James Moriarty had changed him in the ways he did not know he liked and he disappeared one day with a bullet in his mouth. Sebastian had to come to the Bart's to collect him, but when he got there they took his body already. And he found out that there is a body to collect. Not a person anymore, a body. And after few seconds of hesitation he just went to the right room, where James' body was lying, undressed but still covered with blood. He wrapped a sheet around it and took it out of the hospital, using one of stretchers.   
Even if someone asked, shouted, even followed after him, he did not know this. He put the body into a car and just left. Later, hidden in their flat he uncovered James hoping it's only a trick, but it wasn't. He washed the blood off and at the evening he burned the body feeling nothing except of anger.   
This is how Alex found him: kneeling on the floor in the kitchen, with the bowl and a towel, washing off his father's body. Sebastian cursed because boy was the last thing he needed. James made a child some woman a couple of years earlier and recently he took the baby to his house. It was his family, he was saying, Sebastian and a child, they were living together and Sebastian knew better than to tell him that killing a woman who was boy's mother isn't exactly what fathers do. What he knew anyway?  
“Come here.” Sebastian reached to Alex.   
He was quite smart, around five and he never cried, Sebastian saw him in pain, with fever, hungry and scared but the boy never cried. Now it came handy.  
Alex got closer to the man and touched James' leg.   
“Daddy's naked.” He said.   
“Yeah, in a way.”  
Moran left the towel and pulled Alex closer, placing him between his legs so he was facing the body.   
“Listen to me very carefully, Alex. This is the last time you see your dad, okay? He's dead and we need to get rid of the body.”  
Alex remained silent, only his fist clenched on Sebastian's thigh. He nodded slowly.   
“Da said you will take care of me.” He said. “Will he even wake up?”  
“No. This is the moment when we need to say goodbye.”  
Maybe it wasn't good that the boy saw his father for the last time on the floor covered with blood and with a hole in the skull but Sebastian didn't give a damn about it. The whole thing was James' design; maybe he needed to plan it more carefully.   
“I won't remember him...” Alex turned with a fear. His eyes were twice bigger and Sebastian, before he even noticed this, touched his face. “I don't want to forget him...”  
“Calm down, kid. We have his pictures.”   
It was the first thing which came to his mind but it seemed to calm Alex down. He started to breath normally and he turned to the body again.   
“Can I help?”  
Letting him help was probably a bad idea but once again, Sebastian didn't give a damn about it. He gave Alex a towel and stood up to take another one. They together leaned over the dead corpse cleaning it up.   
“Why do we do this?” Alex asked, wiping the blood from James' hands.   
Moran looked at him, it was quite smart question. He planned to burn the body anyway.   
“Because he wouldn't like to be dirty.”   
“But he is dead. Does he know that he is dirty?”  
Sebastian shook his head.   
“So why we do this?” The boy insisted.   
Moran looked at him wondering which answer would be the best. I can't look at him when he's like this. It was the most accurate but wasn't the one he wanted to say out loud. He would hate it. It was very true but also very irrational. Because that's what people do. It was both ironic and crap.   
Eventually Sebastian sighed.   
“Sentiment.” He explained and Alex nodded like he understood. Maybe he did, he was Moriarty after all.   
When they were watching the body burning Alex took Sebastian's hand and just then Moran realised that he was the one who had to take care of the boy. That he has no one else and that Sebastian can't give him to anyone; being Moriarty's son he was in danger. He looked down at the boy. In the red light of the flames he looked almost like he was crying, smiling, looking terrified and smiling again. All of them only shadows on the young face.   
After the flames faded – Alex was already asleep in the car – Sebastian get rid of the ashes and took the boy back home to put him to James' bed.   
The first night was hard; Sebastian woke up feeling like someone is watching him. He attacked on instinct but it was only Alex who was sitting on the edge of the bed. Now he was lying on the floor with eyes wide open. Sebastian jumped immediately not wanting to hurt him.   
“What the fuck?!” He raised the boy. “What did I told you about waking me up?!”  
Alex watched him carefully, and only his breathing betraying that he was scared.   
“I was making sure you wake up.” He said quietly.  
Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. “You're insane just as your da was.” He cursed. “Of course I wake up.”  
“How do I know?”  
Moran sat down on the bed.   
“Don't be stupid, Alex. I'm not dead, I breathe and I'm warm, see?” He reached to the boy. Alex took his hand and nodded very serious. “Good. As long as person is breathing and you can hear the heart beating everything's fine.” He spread his legs and pulled Alex closer. “Close your eyes and listen.”   
The boy did at he was told and a frown appeared on his face when he focused on the sound.   
“This is the proof that I'm alive.” Sebastian explained.  
Alex nodded and in the next second he was cuddling to the man and Sebastian had no idea how to react. He eventually wrapped his arm around the boy. Alex wasn't crying, he was just standing like this, listening to the beat of Sebastian's heart.   
“Come on.” He sighed and holding Alex he lay down on the bed. “You need to sleep.”  
“And if I won't wake up?” The boy mumbled against Sebastian's chest.   
“I'll make sure you will. Go to sleep.”  
And the first night of the rest of their lives passed slowly.

The day after Sebastian's rough night Alex was nowhere to see in the place. Moran was cleaning up but not looking for him, he was a big boy he knew when to hide. When he finished with the clothes he went to the kitchen and put the kettle on to make tea. He was quite sure he didn't catch Alex the night before - the boy was Moriarty but there was no need to hurt him – but he had to change his mind (as usual around Moriarty) because when Alex finally showed up he had a big violet bruise on his cheek. He slipped into the kitchen and on his chair, watching Sebastian carefully.  
Moran sighed.   
“What did I do?”   
“You hit me. When I wanted to bring you his shirt.”   
Sebastian nodded and poured hot water to Alex's mug.   
“Is this me?” He asked, showing the bruise.   
“No, I hit the drawer, but I'm fine.” Moran nodded. “We will burn all his clothes.” He insisted and Sebastian raised his eyebrows.   
“We will?”  
Alex took a sip of his tea and nodded very serious. “He is dead and you said he is not here. But you keep talking to him. You can't do this.”  
Moran sighed at this. Now Moriarty's boy was lecturing him. How usual. He didn't point out that he should get rid of Alex as well, he just nodded.   
They burned all James' clothes and things in the evening. Alex handed Sebastian the box of matches and watched as all things were consumed by flames.   
“We must move out.” He said and Sebastian looked at him with a surprise.   
“Move out?”  
The boy nodded not looking up.   
“You were a hunter. For my father and you were a hunter before. You can do this again. We must move out. This is what da said.”  
Sebastian wanted to ask when James said it but then the boy let go of his hand and walked to the fire to throw one more thing – some pages. He came back biting his lower lip.   
“We will be fine. Da said so.”   
The man wrapped his arm around boy's shoulders. Who was he to argue with Moriarty?  
And this was the reason why they ended up in Norway for almost ten years. 

2.  
At first this was incredible. To stand up in the cold drizzle, holding only one bag with the boy at his side. The whole new life bought for the money they got from selling most of their stuff. He needed only two jumpers and a spare trousers and Alex had as much. They were going to live in a small house near Rauland and Sebastian felt almost excited – the last time he felt like this was when he was ten.   
Alex took his hand and Moran looked down at him.   
“Are we going?”  
“Yeah, we need to buy a car, come.”  
They left Oslo an hour later. With some shopping and in new car Sebastian headed north to their new house.   
Alex was kneeling on his seat, watching the landscape outside. Sebastian looked at him with a small smile.   
“Do you like it?”  
“Can you hunt here?” The boy looked at him.   
“Yeah, I just need a license.”  
“Can I hunt with you?”   
“At first I'll teach you how to flay an animal. And if you can do this we will talk about hunting.”  
Alex nodded and returned to pressing his nose against the cold window.

The sky was violet and dark blue when they arrived. The moon was shining over the woods and the house almost hidden in the dark didn't look engagingly. They got out of the car and Sebastian smiled. The smell of wood and cold air was nice and the sky was clear and dark with the great moon. He looked at Alex.  
“Do you like it?”  
“Is this ours?”  
“Yeah. I bought it. We can live here, we can hunt here and no one will ask stupid questions. You'll go to school and everything will be fine.”  
Alex looked at him.  
“You can't say this.” He said seriously. “No one can say that everything will be alright. But that's fine.”   
Moran chuckled when Alex just came to the house, leaving him with the car.   
“Oi! And who will help me with all those things?”  
“You're bigger than me!” 

The night outside was dark and cold but the inside of the house was full of light and smelled with their dinner. Alex was sitting on the chair behind Sebastian's back, humming under his breath. Then Sebastian heard barefoot on the wooden floor and the boy disappeared. Moran stretched out and dried his hands. Earlier Alex chose a bedroom for himself – the smallest one, closer to the back of the house – and now Sebastian went there.   
It was far different from the way they lived until now. The room seemed emptier but it wasn't bad, it was just the way it should be; somehow it looked good for them. Alex was kneeling on the bed, looking out of the small window. There was only a bed and a wardrobe in his room. Not even a desk or a chair.   
“Ready to go to sleep?”   
“I'm not tired.”   
“Fine, I'm going to sleep. Don't walk out okay?”  
Alex nodded and Sebastian left him alone. They still didn't have telly or radio so he suspected he will eventually go to sleep.   
What he didn't expect was a ball of paper hitting his head. He sat up straight with a gun in his hand looking around. But there was only Alex, standing by the wall with another paper ball; when he noticed Sebastian's awake he dropped it and came closer to the bed.   
“Can I sleep with you?” He asked. “It's so dark here...”  
Moran shifted the gun under his pillow and nodded. He looked outside – there was something almost scary in the night here. It was dark and quiet but in the way London's night never was; at the same time it was incredibly noisy with all those animals and wind.   
Alex stirred a little making himself comfortable next to him and Sebastian lay down again, facing the boy.   
“Are you afraid of anything?” Alex whispered watching the dark place where Sebastian's face had to be. Sebastian on the other hand saw him in the dim moonlight.   
“Obviously. Everyone has something they are afraid of. Do you?”  
The boy thought for a moment chewing his lip. Then he nodded.   
“I'm afraid you will fall asleep and won't wake up.”  
“I'm telling you I won't die. But that's okay. You can be afraid.”   
“Are you afraid of something?”  
Sebastian frowned a little then thought about it. Alex would fall asleep soon but before then he needed to be answered. Moran turned on his back to look up at the ceiling.   
“I was scared few times around your father.” He admitted. “I suppose I am afraid of unpredictable. I don't like when things happening and I can't take care of it. And your father was someone who lived very unpredictably.”  
“But you were with him, why?”   
“He wanted it and I was doing whatever he wanted me to.”   
“Why?” Alex asked frowning. “You didn't like him.”  
“The thing is kiddo, that I loved your father. More than it was healthy.”   
“I don't understand.”   
Sebastian sighed. “Emotions are always messed up. Don't expect to understand them.”   
Alex bit his lower lip but nodded and closed his eyes. He left his hand on Sebastian's heart and sighed falling asleep.   
Sebastian watched him for a moment, it didn't matter with which Moriarty you slept, and it was very much the same. Alex liked to claim Sebastian for himself just as much as James did before. Sebastian smirked when the boy moved closer and cuddle to him. They both liked to sleep with something warm.   
Alex looked very much like James, he was rather small boy, with dark hair; he would never be tall, just like his father. Sebastian brushed his hand through the boy’s hair. Time would show if Alex will share insanity with his father. If not, there was a chance for him, and if yes, he would need a good carer. And that meant as well that Sebastian would have a lot of job for the rest of his life. Or not because the Moriarty’s seems to die young.   
But this little one was now the only family Sebastian had and living with James he somehow learned to value this. He would kill for James and he would kill for Alex. 

3.  
When days were rainy and cold they would stay at home. Or at least at the beginning. Soon Alex started to wander through the woods even when the day was awful. He would spend hours walking among trees picking up rocks and sticks, jumping over small streams and digging in the ground. He would come back for a dinner, dirty and happy, with leafs in his hair and soil behind his fingernails. Sebastian would raise his eyebrows not bothering to lecture him. As long as Alex was coming back everything was fine. And to make sure the boy won't get lost in the woods Sebastian was giving him GPS tracker so he could always find him.   
Alex didn't talk about James but sometimes Sebastian noticed - he learned few things about observation after all - that the boy was repeating something, the melody of his voice was always the same and he was usually closing his eyes to see the text. Sebastian presumed he was calling up the letter he got from James.   
But usually he didn't make any troubles. Busy with his own things, sometimes going to fishing with Sebastian he was intent with getting to know the whole new world. And Sebastian was glad, raising a child didn't seem to be so easy and Sebastian needed whole help he could get, even from the nature itself. 

After Sebastian got his license they started to prepare for a hunt. Alex was very eager to go - Sebastian wasn't sure if it was because of killing or just simply because of the fact that it was something people done in films. And finally, one cold morning when mist was still crept between trees and shrubbery they packed their stuff and drove deeper in the woods to hunt a moose.  
Alex was stirring on the passenger seat impatiently. When Sebastian woke up him around four am, the boy was sleepy and grumpy but now after breakfast and tea he felt more like himself.   
“How long we will go?” He asked, turning to Sebastian.   
Moran looked at the GPS.  
“About an hour. You can go to sleep, if you want to.”  
“No! I want to see everything! Do you think we find a real moose? Is it big?”  
“Yes, they are quite big.”  
“You hunted before, da said. What did you hunt?”  
“Tigers mainly. I spend few years in India and I was catching tigers for zoos and for private collections.”  
“Were you killing them?”  
“Sometimes”  
Alex watched him very carefully for a long moment before he fully turned to the man.   
“How it is? To hunt a tiger? And why you don't do this anymore?”  
“Hunting tigers isn't quite legal. Especially when you kill it for someone else. I was almost caught so I decided it was a good time to leave and return to England.”  
The boy frowned.   
“So this is the reason why da called you a tiger?” He asked.   
“It was one of the few reasons, that's right.”  
“What were the others?”  
Sebastian winced. Yes, that wasn't actually the best subject for conversation with five-or-so years old boy but well, Moriarty asks Moriarty gets all answers. Or almost.   
“My tattoo, James liked it.”  
“You have a tattoo? Why I've never seen it?”  
“Because I have never walked naked around you? It's on my thigh, it's a prowling tiger.”   
Alex nodded.   
“Can I have a tattoo as well? Something scary, a skull or a wolf, or... Or a gun!”  
“When you get older...” Sebastian smirked, watching the road carefully when it became narrowed.   
“Why? I will do it without telling you!” The boy pouted.   
Moran rolled his eyes but he was still smiling.   
“You're too small for now. Tattoo is on your skin, when you grow up your skin will extend. Imagine what will happen with the tattoo?”  
He looked at the boy but Alex dropped his gaze. Sebastian smiled, he made his point, Alex was smart enough to know it and they finished the subject for at least few years.   
“But then I'll make a tattoo...” The boy murmured under his breath.   
“Fine.” Sebastian shrugged. 

They stopped on the last parking place next to silver dodge and Sebastian got out. Alex ran out as well, looking around. Two dogs came to him barking and waving their tails. He stopped with a surprise.   
“Kol! Mika!” Man's voice called and both dogs ran away. The man himself appeared from between woods a minute later with a great smile, dressed in a green jacket and trousers. “Well, well, Moran, you look good.”   
Sebastian gave a nod and came to the man to shake his hand.   
“Good to see you, how is it going?”  
“Good time, I'm looking for my second now.” The man smiled. “What a little rat you brought with you?” He asked, noticing Alex, who came closer to Sebastian.   
“You were hunting together.” The boy statement more than asked and man nodded.   
“Yeah, dad told you all about it?” He asked with a smile.   
“No but I can tell.”  
“Oh so you are a magician! Can you tell me what my name is then?” The man laughed.   
Alex frowned for a moment.   
“August.” He said finally and the man gasped.   
“Okay, kid, he told you.”  
“No, you have your license in your car, pressed to the window.” The boy explained.  
August turned and indeed his licence was there but how the boy managed to read even the name August would never say.   
Sebastian watched Alex carefully, the boy didn't correct Standlers about Sebastian not being his father and now Moran was wondering why he did it; he was Moriarty, Seb always believed they were doing things on purpose.  
“Anyway, stay close to dad, okay?”  
“Why do you have dogs?” Alex asked when Sebastian went back to the car to take his things and Alex’s small backpack.   
“Sometimes you can't see the shot moose in the woods, dogs are finding them. I rented them from a man here. They were trained for this job.”  
Dogs, just as they knew people talked about them, started to jump around and August pet them.   
Alex took the bag from Sebastian and walked away from dogs. But he still heard when August asked Sebastian.   
“Don't you think he's too small? He'll start complaining.”  
“He'll be fine.” Sebastian answered without even looking at Alex and boy felt proud. He wouldn't let down Sebastian, he was old enough for this and he was ready to prove it.   
They took dogs and guns and they went among trees. Alex followed after August having Sebastian behind him. The air was cold, it was the middle of October and Alex felt like his ears become red. He was wearing a lot of warm clothes but his cheeks and hands were cold.   
They were walking slowly – in some places there was a lot of snow already and it wasn't easy, especially for Alex. Dogs where somewhere before them and coming back sometimes to go forward again. It looked stupid but after few first minutes Alex was so cold that he lost all interest in dogs or hunting at all. The walking was an agony and sometimes Sebastian needed to catch him to prevent his fall. They made a short break when men drank coffee and Alex got hot tea. The warmth of it woke him up for a moment. His hands ached and he started to catch the moment he took a deep breath. Everything was wrong, he wasn't supposed to be tired, and he wasn't supposed to feel that bad. They were going to hunt, but instead of excitement and blood and killing there was only cold, snow and wind. And two stupid dogs.   
Alex raised a small rock to throw it at one of animals but Sebastian caught his hand.   
“They will bite you.” He warned. “If you hit a dog it will bite you and it's stupid of you because we need them. They should like you.”  
Despite of the cold Alex wondered about it. It was something to do with things da was sometimes saying. He nodded and let Sebastian took him on his lap. In the man's embrace he felt better.   
“They're stupid.” He pouted.   
“But we still need them, Alex. Never bite as long as you are sure you don't need someone.”  
“And if they make me angry?”   
“Then hit a tree, or scream, or start to jog or swim if you can. Get yourself tired and you'll feel better.”  
Alex pressed himself harder against Sebastian in attempt of getting himself warmer. They stopped for a half an hour and then they walked again. Moran asked the boy if he wants to come back but Alex – after another tea and a cup of soup – felt well and he again wanted to see the hunting.   
This time they were luckier. After another half an hour which for Alex was the longest half an hour in his life dogs started to bark and August turned to raised his thumb and Sebastian repeated the gesture.   
August called the dogs and raised his gun, for the first time Sebastian left Alex behind and stood next to August with his gun.   
“Right in the heart.” August smiled. “Can you do this?”   
Alex watched his carer stunned, Sebastian was so calm and so focused, the rifle seemed to be a part of him, there was a lot of what he didn't understand about this picture but he remembered it very well. Few years later when he was more interested in taking pictures of dead animals he would sometimes look for this moment when Sebastian was getting ready to take a shot. For now he was only six years old boy and he didn't dare to move from the place he was left. Two steps behind the men he watched them and soon Sebastian shoot. One shot; then again, there was a cry of an animal and dog's excited barking.   
August patted Sebastian's back.   
“Yeah, you still can do this.” He admitted. “Your first?”  
“The first this year.”   
Moran applied the safe catch and turned to Alex.   
“Come on.”  
The boy followed the two men to the dead animal. It was lying in the snow among bushes, dogs jumping around it excited. At first Alex couldn't see the spots where Sebastian's bullets reached the animal but when the man knelt down next to it and moved his hand along its side Alex noticed eventually two holes, one a big higher than the second. There was almost no blood and it surprised Alex, he expected a great spot of blood-red snow just like on the films he watched. But except two holes hide in the fur and the hint of blood in animal's nostrils the snow was clean.   
August called dogs back and knelt next to Moran.   
“We must do it here.” He said and Sebastian nodded.   
He moved aside when August left his backpack on the ground and took out from it a knife. Although tall, August moved very quickly around the animal, one of his legs taking in the nearest bush. Alex moved closer to Sebastian, watching August and his knife, skinning the abdomen and later cutting it open. The entrails flow out and boy wrinkled his nose. It didn't stink but it had a smell and in the cold air blood and everything inside, the stomach, lungs and heart were steaming. August took out a jigsaw to open the ribcage and Sebastian showed Alex where the bullet went through.   
The boy looked back at the place where they stand before. He couldn't even find it now because of trees. Then he turned to the animal. August was rubbing snow in the open stomach to clean it up.   
“Stay here.” Sebastian said, leaving his backpack with boy as he moved to August to help him with boning.   
Alex was watching this with mixed feelings. It wasn't as bloody as he expected although a lot of blood flow out with the entrails, and it wasn't that scary as he was afraid; the hunt was tiresome and really long, it was cold and Alex was afraid they will sit here for ages before two men will separate the meat. He tried to keep himself busy with throwing sticks and rocks for dogs and looking around but eventually he came back to the entrails which were lying on the ground, covered with insulating foil.   
“Don't touch it or it will blow out in your face, kid.” August warned, looking for a moment up from the animal's remains. He was all red and tired and he took off his jacket.   
Alex looked puzzled at Sebastian but as his carer didn't turn to him, he just left, returning to dogs.   
Soon he knew all the place and he started to walk around farer and farer. Coming back wasn't hard because he could hear Sebastian and August talking very clearly so he took bigger stick and wandered around the place.   
Suddenly, the familiar sound of walking, breathing and functioning of the two men disappeared and Alex stopped immediately, holding his breath - cold air tickled his throat - and listened to the silence. He looked around, dark trunks and snow between them looked everywhere the same. He bit his lower lip, trying to stop himself from shouting. He won't shout. He didn't hear the car as well so they didn't leave him. And he was sure they won't. Da wrote him that Sebastian will take care of him and Alex believed his father.   
But the woods around him was all calm and silent and with every passing second Alex felt the cold crawling under his jacket and into boots. He tried to open his mouth but he couldn't. No sound escaped from his throat, caught by fear he could only stare into the air. And this was the moment when he noticed his footsteps in the snow. With one glorious moment all fear disappeared, he was able to come back. Shifting his hands into pockets Alex slowly came back, stepping in his own tracks. Warm joy filled his stomach and with a hope he quickly returned to Sebastian and August.   
The two men were standing in the same place, with the dead moose but did nothing, staring between trees. When Alex appeared August bowed over the meat murmuring 'finally' to him.   
The boy stopped with a surprise but Sebastian came closer and hugged him.   
“Don't wander off, understood?” He asked.   
“Next time we may not wait for you.” warned the other man.   
Alex cuddled to Sebastian, he wasn't crying, he was now safe and calm, the fear he felt before was forgotten.   
“But at least he could come back. Clever kid.” August said and reached to Sebastian. “Help me man, or we will stuck here for the night.”  
Sebastian left Alex and helped the American. This time Alex stayed in his place, watching them but not daring to leave them. 

Just after dusk, they were finally ready and taking the meat packed in the insulating foil they started to go back. Alex had torch and dogs and he was supposed to always be next to them and sing so he wouldn't get lost. But Alex didn't want to get lost; the wood around him frightened him. He was tired and sleepy and the whole way back to the car was later for him like a dream. Sometimes he thought he was carried but sometimes he remembered walking and stumbling and the light of the torch slide on the ground. The fact that it was the first hunting in his life remained in his memory as an image of a cold and long way and the mixed colours of the entrails. He didn't know how he went to bed but – and that was even more confusing - he wasn't sure why he woke up. He remembered that, in the middle of the night, he came to the kitchen where Sebastian and some people were, August noticed him, said something and everyone laughed. Alex remembered that he went to Sebastian, that Moran lifted him on his lap and Alex fell asleep again.   
The next day there was only two of them and the fact that he woke up in his own bed.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me introduce you to the second chapter of the second part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I did not believe I will ever finish it. I have so many ideas and so many bits already written that it is a mess. But luckily I did it! Here it is: young Alex. 
> 
> Arinsar was so kind to help with beta but all the mistakes are mine.

I.

 

The party  was running for almost an hour when they finally arrived. Alex was in a bad mood and Sebastian wondered if it would not have been better, if they have stayed but then the boy would sulk for next two days and for the love of God ,Sebastian wouldn't survive this without killing the child. There were times when he wanted nothing more than just to leave the boy in the woods somewhere. 

They arrived at the Linder's house, few cars  were parked there at the pavement and Sebastian stopped behind the last of them. 

„Lex” He said, hoping the boy would look at him. But he didn't. „We promised we will come so we have to give Maria the gift we bough for her. But if you don't want to, we don't have to stay long.”

The only reaction was  t he door opening and Alex left the car. 

Without even turning back he wandered towards the house - he was never  t he o ne to be afraid of strangers. 

Sebastian sighed and took the gift from the back sit and followed after his son.

Alex was in fourth class now, he was doing well, very intelligent, after father, he usually did not cause much troubles. If he did, the school staff used to say that he was just too smart for his age, they would give him more challenging task and then he would calm down. When put before a challenge, Alex didn't stop until he was done with it.  The harder it was, the more he liked it and needed it to be solved.

Sebastian watched him with a worry. His father was  a maniac too, of course, and a genius, unfortunately. Very often Moran saw the same difficulties in the boy. From one side it made him happy but from the other he was scared - of the boy and for the boy. Because who will protect him? Ironically, Alex was in a way more frightening than Jim. Here has come the time when Sebastian Moran was scared of a child. 

The door opened Mrs. Linder - she was a widow with a lovely blond haired girl in Lex's age. She was a beautiful woman, worked at  a travel agency and every time she met Sebastian, she was very nice and smiled in that special way. 

It would be a lie to say that he didn't enjoy her company or that he wasn't flattered. But he remembered very well one dark evening when Jim took him to  a dissection room of the one of medical schools, where on the table, with her chest opened, was laying a woman he had romance with. He remembered the chill down his spin and he remembered Jim's quiet yet somehow tender words: 'I want you to _understand_ ,Tiger, that for what I'm doing here, I will need your  _whole_ attention”. From that day on he never had anyone for longer than one night and Jim was fine with it as long as it was only sex. Sebastian suspected that Jim was just jealous. 

 

„Ah, morning! Come in!” Mrs. Linder said opening the door for them. „Alex, you look so great, ready for the party I see?”

He was really looking good in a suit jacket and dark blue trousers. He - just like Jim - knew how to wear a suit.

And just like Jim Alex liked when people appreciated his effort. Now he flashed at her his best smile and wandered to the garden  at the back of the house. 

„Thank you for the invitation.” Sebastian smiled and gave her the gift wrapped in a colourful paper. 

„Oh, thank you. Our pleasure” she smiled - again, in that very telling way - and she led him to the kitchen where where few parents were sitting. 

Sebastian knew all of them as they were parents of the children in Alex's class and talked to them occasionally, as he pretended to be 'normal' and that  obligated him sometimes to do something in school.

For five years now they lived more or less like normal people - he didn't work but sometimes helped people in the town and Alex was going to school. If anyone asked about boy's mother Sebastian was usually saying something about her being ill and so they went. Living deep in the woods gave them though the opportunity to sometimes kill something if the normality became too hard to bear. Alex could shout and run in the woods, he himself could hunt if he was too tired of the quiet life. They stayed out of the trouble though as there were still some old cases that would blow off their new house.

Sebastian was greeted nicely; they liked him - Jim always said that between the two of them he was the good looking one but Sebastian was the nice one - and that at first surprised him. He never made an effort to make them like him.

Mrs. Linder made him coffee - and he sat down at the table.

The children were playing outside in the garden, the day was sunny and warm and girls were wearing light dresses. The kitchen window  was giving perfect view on the children so the parents could calmly drink their coffee and eat cake. The big birthday cake was already cut into pieces and most of it eaten. Mrs. Linder gave Sebastian a piece and took one to for Alex. 

It was  a dark chocolate cake with white icing and sugar petals. Sebastian looked outside to see how Alex is going to react when something like this will be presented to him. He could react in any way - could be amused or offended. He valued simplicity very much. 

She came to the children - Alex was standing aside with  a cup of coke - and she handed him a paper plate with a smile. 

He took it from her –  an effort which Sebastian appreciated - but then he looked at her and shook his head, probably saying he didn't want it. She looked troubled and tried to convince him. Sebastian tensed a little. But Alex just shook his head again and she reached for the plate. He must have been waiting for this because when she wanted to take it, he let go of it in a way which made the cake fall on the ground. 

The pantomime went on, he looked at her with condemnation, she made a face and started to apologise. While she was crouching graceful ly trying to pick up the cake, he stood in front of her watching her coldly. He didn't even change his face when she looked back at him. Maybe his look frightened her because she tried to smile and walked away quickly. 

Sebastian took another sip of his coffee, turned around and accidentally dropped his spoon  on the floor. When Mrs. Linder came to the kitchen to throw out the cake he was standing next to the sink, washing the spoon. He glanced at her and stopped. 

„Are you okay?”

She was a little pale but she smiled bravely.

„Of course I am.” He moved aside and she washed her hands. “Tell me, is there something Alex likes to eat?” She asked in a matter of fact tone. “He said he cannot eat cake because it makes him sick.”

Sebastian looked towards the window and at her again.

„Sometimes he doesn't eat sweets when he doesn't feel like to. You know how children can be.”

She nodded. This was one of the magic sentences one could say to turn the attention away from the child - when parents heard it, they momentarily thought about their own kids.

„Well, can I give him some fruit then?”

„No, leave him be. I'm sure he'll ask if he wants something.”

A little afraid that the party  might in any minute change into the  _Problematic Child_ Sebastian returned to the window. 

Alex was standing  alone again, watching nothing in particular, somehow he seemed to be fascinated with the whole party. There never was in a situation like this and Alex loved to discover new situations though they make him particularly nervous and edgy.

Soon a girl came to him and asked about something. She was pretty with a long blond hair and a purple dress, she was taller than him and Sebastian couldn't really remember her name. He wanted to check out how Alex is going to react but then Mrs. Lindser asked if he liked the cake - as he hasn't eaten it yet - and he turned to look at her. She was standing next to the table, her hip looked very tempting in the smart, green skirt she was wearing. When Sebastian looked outside again, Alex was nowhere to see. 

The conversation in the kitchen revolved around children, school and family vacations. It was funny to listen to them at first but soon Sebastian started to be a little bored. In his whole life the re were always people around him who could listen and talk so he didn't have to. Now this person was a ten years old boy and that was not good. 

Mrs. Linder stayed close and he watched her most of the time. She was really a beautiful woman, all smart and perfect with her light hair and figure. He would like to see her ravished, with  her head thrown back and legs spread wide... He looked outside again. 

Soon the entertainment was supposed to show up but for now the children were left with older siblings. They were playing last time Sebastian saw them but this time they were sitting in two groups. One was gathered around Maria and the other was clearly  led by Alex. Sebastian felt the troubles before he even saw how the girl suddenly started to cry. He got up, Mrs. Linder looked at him surprised and she followed after his gaze. When she saw her daughter crying she almost ran out. Sebastian followed as he was 100 % sure this was about his boy. 

Mrs. Linder hugged her daughter, there was a loud choir of voices, two girls were explaining what happened, Maria sobbed in mother's shoulders and one boy was shouting at Alex when Alex's new friend - the girl in  a purple dress - was shouting back at him. Sebastian couldn't even understand. 

„Enough!” He yelled and the girls looked at him surprised. The one standing next to Alex just shut up when Alex grabbed her wrist and the boy shut up as well since there was no further attack. 

„What happened?” Mrs. Linder asked. 

„Alex said that Maria will die.” One of the girls said. She was looking like she knew all the things in the world and Sebastian didn't like her at all.

„No, he didn't!” The purple girl shouted, the aggression in her voice made Sebastian shiver. She was the one who could kick you just because you made her angry. „Alex just said that Maria is now one year older and that she may die sooner than the rest of us because she is older than we.” She added proudly. 

Sebastian looked at Alex, knowing he should say something. The boy knew it too and watched him calmly challenging. Remembering to control his face he turned to him. It was not about winning, it was about handling the situation. Alex was testing him but this was something Jim used to do all the time. What was important was not to show any sign of nerves.

“Lex, you will not speak about such thing as death again, especially not during birthday. This should be a happy day.” He said calmly. 

“Should I be happy too?” The boy asked and raised his chin.

“You should be polite.” 

The boy tensed at this but walked to Marie who calmed in her mother's arms and reached to her. 

“I am sorry for being rude.” He said solemnly. 

At first Sebastian frowned surprised but then he looked around - everyone was here and everyone saw how good Alex behaved. He just won their attention and maybe even sympathy. Sebastian was quite sure that Alex is not aware how much he manipulates people. But he  does and he is quite good in it.

Mrs. Linder smiled and kissed her daughter's head.

“See? Alex didn't want to scare you, love.”

“I didn't know she would be so scared.” Alex explained and added nothing more. 

Now he won everything and looked at Sebastian to make sure he saw it. Sebastian of course noticed.

He was never a genius but he learned fast. One of  the things he learned when they started to live here was that people are ready to believe in anything regarding children, except that kids can be cruel or just simply bad. That was very convenient for him, as Alex would sometimes act rather strangely. 

Now the boy convinced everyone with just one sentence that he was not aware his words c ould frighten a little girl. They assumed that he probably just heard it somewhere but he did not fully understood. For a boy who witnessed his father's body being burnt, he was also often Sebastian's companion during huntings so he saw death more than once. But sure, let's believe it was only a mistake made by a ten years old boy. 

Mrs. Linder  asked the children to the table for some fruit and juice and for few moments they were busy with finding their places and sitting around. Sebastian was happy that for a one day someone else was taking care of Alex. He did love the boy but Lex was a hard one to live with. And if only Sebastian could get rid of him for few hours a day he was happy to do so. 

The parents returned to the kitchen and coffee.

“I'm sorry for this.” Sebastian said, coming closer to Mrs. Linder. “He sometimes says things like this... They all say he's just too smart.”

He even smiled and she returned the smile.

“I understand. It must be hard with such an intelligent kid, he's always the best in class.”

He shrugged lightly.

“Sometimes it's hard but I have to take care of him, he has only me now. But you know how it is.”

She smiled at him  now with such a weird expression, he wasn't sure whether she will cry or kiss him here and now. 

“It can be hard sometimes but you can believe me, it's worth it. And you are doing a great job.” She assured.

“How long are you alone with Maria?” He asked, because he never really bothered before and that seemed to be a good thing to say at the moment. 

“Almost ten years. Her dad died when she was one and a half.” 

Now the conversation stuck and Sebastian felt like he ha d to change the subject quickly or he might be drown in a long and teary story about the beloved dad. 

Before he even opened his mouth, Alex stopped next to him.

“Yes?” He looked at the boy.

Alex just raised his eyes at him and said nothing. Sebastian crouched in front of him.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked half hoping that was the case.

Alex watched him carefully and Sebastian had this really weird feeling - like with Jim sometimes - that the boy is reading his mind and judging him.

“No.” He said finally. He reached and placed his hand on Sebastian's shoulder what was a surprise since he rarely let anyone - especially Sebastian - touch himself these days. “There will be a magician who is going to make tricks.” He leaned closer to him and whispered loudly. “There is no magic so he will be lying. Can I tell them?” He asked.

Not sure anymore what the boy is planning Sebastian shook his head.

“No. Le them believe in whatever they want to. If it makes them feel better then they have the right to do so.”

Alex looked at him again.

“Is it like with believing in God?” he asked.

They had this long conversation about God some time ago. Alex could not understand the idea of  a higher force but he wanted to. Alex got frustrated and Sebastian had to calm him down. 

When the boy was younger, to calm him down was easier. Sebastian would lie in bed with him, a duvet wrapped around them, or he would take him to the bath, sit behind him and hold him still while the boy was breathing  heavily, shouting or stirring. Sometimes after attacks like this Sebastian would be bitten, once he was hit with a bottle. Lately the attacks have become less frequent fortunately because it was harder now to calm Alex down in the same way. 

“Yes, it is a little like with God. If people want to believe in him then why not let them, right?”

There was the answer in boy's dark eyes but Sebastian didn't even try to understand or to see  it. He wouldn't like to loose the last bits of child in Alex. 

“I will go now.” The boy said quietly and returned to the children. Sebastian saw that he stayed aside again. He was wondering what was it about but when he got up, he noticed Mrs. Linder's gaze full of adoration. Could Alex have known? Of course, he reads people easily... 

Sebastian smiled at her.

“Sorry about that.”

“Don't worry, I know how it is. It's always only Marie and Marie, sometimes I ask myself 'what what have you done for yourself lately?'.”

“Maybe you should do something for yourself today then?” He asked before he even thought about it. Not good. 

She smiled and returned to the rest of the parents.

The clown arrived some time later. Personally Sebastian thought this is a stupid idea but he wasn't paying for it so why would he care? Especially when after introducing the guest to the children, Mrs. Linder asked Sebastian upstairs. And when they heard happy voices from downstairs she invited him to a small room and kissed him, before he even closed the door.

He would protest but she pressed her body against him, and he just wrapped his arm around her waist. Her breasts felt nicely against his chest, he moved his hand under her skirt, she had some silky underwear and he felt that she is already wet. He sat her on a table and she immediately wrapped her legs around his hips. He pushed his hand under her shirt and she moaned when he squeezed her breast. He loved the sound and even more he loved the feel of her full breast in his hand. She opened his trousers, her hands were firm and he kissed her again, reaching  for her bra to undone it. She used one hand to unbutton the half of the shirt and he took it off. Her breasts were beautiful without the bra, he threw it away and kissed her neck and the cleavage. She ran her fingers through his hair bringing him even closer. She smelled of perfumes and sweat and woman. His mouth found one fair nipple, he kissed it and then sucked causing her to arch back with another moan. 

They were still giggles and laughs from the downstairs but they were now more distant. Sebastian pulled the skirt up showing Mrs. Linder's thighs and garters. The pants  were white like the bra and when he pulled them down - she raised her hips to help him - she was clean shaved. He almost fell on his knees but she suddenly pulled him up to herself for a kiss. 

“Come in me.” She whispered. 

He didn't need to be told twice. With her help he pulled down the trousers enough to  take out his penis. She took it in her hand and started to stroke it gently when he was kissing her breast. Her boobs were just beautiful. She squeezed him, digging her nails in the flesh when he sucked the nipple again. He pulled her on the edge of the table and when she opened for him wrapping her legs around his hips, he entered her. 

She threw her head back as  he pushed deeper, a moan escaped his mouth. She was in front of him, naked and beautiful, her breast moving with her deep breaths. She looked at him ad kissed him hungrily when he started to move in her. 

“My God...” she whispered. “I love it. Come on... Come on, Seb...”

He looked at her.

“I want you bend over the table” He said, moving out. She didn't even wince, only changed position and rested her elbows on the table.

Her breasts were pressed against the table and he came in her again causing another moan. She pushed back, her ass was so good, her hips perfect for his hands. She felt so good he almost didn't hear the scream from downstairs.

She tensed and turned to the door. He moved back, pulling up his trousers.

“What...?” She pulled down her skirt and reached for the shirt not bothering with underwear this time.

Sebastian didn't wait for her. He made sure he was looking normally and went downstairs. He would ran but that wouldn't do. Whatever happened, the scream did not repeat and there was no sound of guns, whatever happened it was safe. So he walked to the living room which was now empty. Through the windows he saw everyone in the garden - the children gathered in one corner, the clown sitting on the ground and one of  the fathers holding Alex.

The adrenaline from  the moment before made Sebastian act without thinking. He came to the man, grabbed his arm and twisted it until he protested and let go of Alex. With the other hand Moran pulled the boy behind himself. 

“Stay away from him.” He warned, letting go of the man. 

“Are you crazy?!” The man protested. 

It was Norman, he was a father of four and Sebastian never liked the children.

One of  the women came from the kitchen with a cold towel and knelt next to the clown, whose nose was bleeding. 

“What happened?” Sebastian asked though he was certain it had something to do with Alex.

“He attacked the man. He's a beast” said the father of four.

Sebastian looked at the boy behind him, he saw anger in his eyes but he remained as calm as he could. That was a great effort from him.

“They were all lying.” Alex said. “They were saying magic exists. And I told them it doesn't. And God doesn't exist. It's just stupid. There is no God and no Santa!...” 

Sebastian places his hand on Alex's shoulder.

“Calm down. And you” he turned to Norman. “Look at him and at the man. How was he going to hurt him? Really, you can't even take care of children...” he shook his head.

“When you are fucking the hostess?” The man asked furious. 

Sebastian let go of Alex, moved in two quick steps towards the man and before Norman could even react he punched him in the face, breaking his nose.

“Have some fucking class” He said and turned to Alex. “Come on.”

The boy looked at all of them but followed Sebastian without another word.

Whether he felt guilty or just wasn't interested, Sebastian couldn't say but they drove in silence for most of the way. At the end Alex started to speak as Moran didn't ask him what happened and the boy clearly wanted to explain it. 

“He was showing tricks and I asked if he can teach me some. But he just gave me some stupid thing to hold. He called me his assistant.” 

He looked at Sebastian but the man was still silent, focused on the road. Alex frowned a little but continued.

“I started to ask him how does he work and how does these tricks work and he said they're not tricks but magic. I told him there is no magic and I told them there is no God. And he grabbed me so I hit him and Maria screamed.”

They passed their last neighbours and farer were only woods. Alex didn't get any reaction from Sebastian so he looked outside the window. He did it a lot, it reminded him about the first time they arrived here. However, the silence didn't last for long.

“You are angry. Why are you angry?” He asked and changed his position so he was leaning against the door and facing Moran.

“I am angry at many things. The dick who touched you, at the party, at you. And I don't want to talk to you right now.”

“So stop the car.” He said and finally Sebastian looked at him. “Stop the car and let me go out. I will just leave. And you won't have to look at me anymore.”

Alex's calm words hit Sebastian. Not because he seemed not to care but because he was offering something for Sebastian. Something extreme as everything in his life. And Sebastian was suddenly certain that even if he was angry, he would never do this.

He shook his head and looked back at the road.

“You can't experiment on people.” He said. 

And Alex smiled because Sebastian understood. And Alex was always happy when Sebastian understood.

“Does it make you sad? When I do this?”

Sebastian smiled a little. Just like Jim. He sometimes - when was very bored or unusually calm - would ask about how people felt or how Sebastian felt when something happened. Sebastian was never sure if this was due to  the fact that he himself didn't have feelings or if this was just another game. It seemed that Alex was facing the same issue. 

He thought for a moment.

“This will always put you in trouble. And you cannot handle it yet.” 

“Then teach me.”

Sebastian looked at him with hesitation. 

“That would took a lot of learning.” He warned. “A lot of self control.”

Alex watched him carefully considering it. He said nothing even when they reached home and they did not return to this subject again. Not for almost two years at least.

 

 

II

 

Two years later Alex was almost taken to the police after the fight he started. Or rather ended smashing an empty glass bottle on his opponent's head.

Sebastian was called to the school early afternoon, and what he saw was his twelve years old son sitting in the corridor, guarded by the physical education teacher. Judging by the bandage wrapped over his hand and the slowly  appearing bruise on his jaw he also got a beating. 

Before he entered the headmaster's office Sebastian stopped in front of Alex. The boy stared at the floor and didn't raise his gaze so Moran knelt in front of him.

“Are you okay?” He asked. 

When the boy finally looked up at him, Sebastian saw tears in his eyes.

At first he didn't know what to do. That was new for them. If Alex was younger Sebastian would just hug him but now? He wasn't even sure if that was a good idea - the teen was clenching his fist on the edge of the chair. If Sebastian touches him he may just explode.

But Alex was pale and scared so Sebastian brushed his hand through his hair gently. When the boy did not react violently, Sebastian pulled him for a hug.

“That's okay.” He said, stroking his dark hair. 

Alex sobbed something  out into father's shirt but Sebastian didn't even bother to try to understand. He just hugged him for a long time until he felt that the boy is starting to pull himself together. 

Then he looked at him.

“Wait for me, I'm going to see what they'll tell me.”

Fear once again showed in Alex's eyes but Sebastian only patted his shoulder lightly and finally walked into the office.

The headmaster stood up from behind his desk and reached to Sebastian.

“Good day, mister Moran. I'm sorry we meet in such circumstances.”

Moran nodded and accepted his hand.

“I understand that there was a fight?” he asked sitting before the desk.

“Unfortunately yes. That happens sometimes, we are trying not to fuss about it as long as this is not child's custom. We were all shocked - and please believe me when I'm saying this, mister Moran - we were shocked seeing what happened today.”

Sebastian watched the man. The headmaster was a smart man, he knew that children are children and cannot be held like an army. Sebastian always liked him and even now he couldn't feel mad at him.

“Alexander got into a fight with a boy from a higher class. As far as we know they had an argument about parents, what happened was that the boy sat on Alex and to disentangle Alex reached for the bottle laying nearby.” His voice was still calm but he was a little pale. “I would like to make it clear now that Alex is a victim too of course, I'm not even trying to say that he wasn't hurt. I also strongly condemn the whole situation but what I must add is that Alex hit Erik with the bottle twice before it broke. When Erik fell to the ground, Alex... Hit him one more time. Just then we were able to pull him back. Please believe me that I hate punishing Alex that much but from what was given, it looks like your son is in bigger troubles. Erik was taken to the hospital and he needed sewing. I I haven't talked to his parents yet but I'm sure they will join us soon.”

He stopped finally, waiting for Sebastian to say something.

Moran listened to the whole speech worrying more about Alex than anything else. They boy clearly lost control and just let go to whatever instinct is  hidden deep in him. That wasn't good. The question was if that was okay to keep him in school. Lex liked children and Sebastian was sure he should be among them but the situation was bad. 

“I'll look for a different school then.” He said calmly, looking up at the headmaster. 

The man nodded but he didn't seem to be convinced.

“The only problem might be that this will clearly show Alex that he is responsible for the whole situation. I believe we should do this gently. The psychologist will talk to both boys and we will make sure they understand what wrong happened. I don't think that taking Alex from school will help him. There's clearly a problem somewhere and he needs to understand it. We need to understand.”

Sebastian nodded getting up.

“I will think about it but for now I'll take my son home.”

“Mr. Moran, because of what happened I must suspend Alex for the next two weeks.”

Sebastian nodded and left.

Alex looked at him and got up. He was better now, the cry from before visibly helped him. They went to the car.

“You don't have to go to school for two weeks.” Moran said. 

The boy looked at him and outside again.

“Are you mad?”

“No, I'm not mad. Are you angry?”

“Only at myself.” he admitted. “That... I let it happen...” His voice was strangely quiet and Sebastian threw him a glance but said nothing. He looked like he still wanted to say something. “I... Sometimes feel like this. I'm very angry but I control it... I didn't mean to hurt him that much.”

At 'that much' Moran almost smiled but he was smarter than this.

“You have to learn how to control this. Because this can be a really bad thing. This may hurt people even more.” 'Kill them' was what he wanted to say but there was only a twelve years old boy, that knew nothing about life and that was already scared. “Do you remember anything about your father?”

Alex looked at him surprised and just after a second he understood the question.

“You mean my biological father? No, not really. I know he used to read me. Right? Stories, they must have been scary because I was always afraid to go to sleep.”

Sebastian nodded. Jim loved to read to Alex, he usually said that this was the best part of having a child. The problem was that he chose to read the original Brothers Grimm tales with all the blood and death in it. Adding to it the way Jim could read... Sebastian wasn't surprised the boy was so scared that he remembered it even now.

“Yeah. He had the same problem as you, you see. He was also very unpredictable.”

“How did he die?”

“He killed himself.” That was probably the most true thing he could tell him about the man. 

“And how he dealt with this in his head?”

Sebastian looked at him to make sure that they are still talking about the same and then at the road.

“He didn't.”

The teen said nothing as it was probably something he didn't want to hear. But Sebastian didn't know any magic al way to fix Alex, he just knew that the boy was probably as sick as his father was. And Sebastian Moran maybe was the best sniper but he wasn't a psychologist for sure. 

“If you like, I can find someone who will help you.” He said, deciding that there must be someone he can trust. 

“What for? Dad didn't control it.” 

“Because he never tried. I think he liked it. But if you want, you can meet someone who will explain what's going on. And then they may tell you how to control this.”

Alex watched him for a long moment before finally nodding.

“But I don't want anyone to cure me. I don't want any doctor.” He added. 

Sebastian nodded, going through  the whole list of people he knew and who could help Alex But the truth was that there was no one he would trust enough with the boy.

 

Theoretically they could ask for help the school psychologist but that would would give them too much knowledge about the boy. Anyone from the criminal world was immediately a 'no'; he could find someone not related to them, someone totally random but then he didn't know if they were good enough. Alex needed special treatment... Or didn't he? Maybe that wasn't anything special only problems every teenager had? Sebastian didn't know, he was a father for the first time. He could check the Internet but to tell the truth he was slightly afraid of what he could find. He knew how such searching looked like - one  starting with a cold and ending up with signs of last stage of cancer. 

No, Alex needed help and someone who would not only accept the slightly weird conditions but also who wouldn't send the social welfare after them. Sebastian could kill and fight almost everything but not the system. That was just impossible.

So again, who he could trust, who wouldn't try to help more than necessary and who would understand Alex? Only someone as crazy as he was. But where do you find people like this? As far as Sebastian knew they would find you if they needed.

They could at least try with “normal” psychologist but Sebastian didn't trust the state too long chased and still in danger of being put into a prison.  The less attention they will attract, the better for them. 

The next thought was as clear as the air in the winter morning: he could find someone good enough and then kill them.

Of course that would mean he needed this person at their house and that could cause problems. Also, before he died, Jim closed most of their cases and the few which were left open couldn't chase Sebastian whenever he went so he could take care of the child. If Sebastian would now kill, that would mean he's getting back to the game. And that was not the case.

Sighing deeply he parked in front of their house and got out. Alex went to the house and disappeared inside.

Sebastian stayed outside looking around. This place was just perfect for them, he needed to choose wisely his next step or they would have to leave it. Still with  a heavy heart he entered the house. 

 

 

Jim said once - and even if he died so long ago Sebastian recalled his words very often living with Alex - that if you want something done good, do it yourself.

That thought struck Moran when he was making supper next evening. If he needed someone who will understand Alex, someone who can be trusted and someone good then there is only one person meeting all the requirements. Himself.

The idea of going to the university to study child psychology made Sebastian laugh. That was a good one. He did finish his A-levels long time ago and since then he never stood in the school again - unless he had to kill someone - and he was thinking about the bloody university? 

But after the cheerfulness passed he noticed Alex standing in the doorway with a dark bruise on his jaw, like a ghost of his future.

Alex needed this. And wasn't Sebastian the one who used to do for people whatever they needed? He killed for the people who wanted furs, he killed other hunters who trespassed his territory, he killed people for Jim and so many before him. Was it that hard to go to the bloody university and  finish the bloody psychology for this boy? 

That was probably the first time when he realised that he really loves Alex. Not only cares for him because there is no one else, not only protects him because he promised. Alex standing in the doorway with smashed lips and almost half of his face bruised made him  realise that he loves the boy. He had no idea what to do. 

Suddenly he felt something what he couldn't understand, he was never  the one to show emotions, as there was never anyone who could wake any of them. But this boy... He swallowed and turned to the cooker. 

“Do you want tea?” He asked and he hated how emotional his voice sounded. 

“Yes.” 

The boy sat at the table and watched him carefully. He saw that something  wasn't okay. The question now was how much he will understand. 

“What will you do?” He asked finally. So he did understand. 

“I will go to the university to learn how to help you.” He explained. 

That sounded so stupid that he expected Alex to snort, if not openly laugh. But the boy remained silent for a moment and Sebastian didn't want to turn around to see his face. Maybe for the first time he lost all his courage.

Eventually he heard quiet: “Thank you.”

 

And that was all.

 

In next few days he started to prepare everything. First he went to the university to check what they need, then he needed to complete his education. He was bloody 42 and he was learning the same stuff Alex did, that was just ridiculous.

 

When he was at school the last time it were days of … and … . His father sent him to the prep school and later he went to boarding school for boys - where he stayed until his father didn't loose all his money - then he had to start to work - he was fifteen  back then. 

Tired of the work at … he took the first chance to join the army. He never saw his father again, he died when Sebastian was on Sri Lanka . He wasn't going to the United Kingdom for  the next six years. And when he finally did he stayed in London, quickly finding himself a job.

And look at him now, after so many things, so many years, he was sitting in the wooden house in Norway, which he called home, and he was learning to go to the university. To study child psychology - if that wasn't ironic then Sebastian didn't know what could be.

 

And so he went to the university, what was one of the biggest challenges in his life. During this period Alex would spent more of the time in the woods alone. He was quiet and calm and that was the time when he started to take pictures. Sebastian saw them sometimes - they could be very ugly, sometimes very disturbing. He was just learning so Sebastian left him a book about photography and said not a word about this.

 

Learning was always very difficult for Alex especially if he started to think that his teacher has him for an idiot. And he did it a lot. He hated when he wasn't able to learn quickly and he couldn't bear his mistakes. That's why Sebastian used to leave him with a book or with a computer program and just let him learn in his own way.

 

Their days looked alike during this period - they would eat breakfast together and then Sebastian would leave for few hours when Alex stayed at home, sometimes walked out into the woods, Sebastian would came back around afternoon and they have spent the rest day together. Sebastian was worried about the boy of course but that was the way they lived and nothing worse than few bruises and cuts happened to Alex.

They would live like this for few terms,  calm and undisturbed, meanwhile Alex would returned to school while Erik was taken away. Alex taking photos, Sebastian sometimes hunting, they would spent a lot of time together even if they rarely spoke to each other.

 

Then started the best years  for Sebastian - for the first time since he has taken care of Alex he knew what he was doing. But - as usual - the good never lasts long. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued in third chapter.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My dearest Arinsar did beta for this one. I love her. And I owe her. 
> 
> The mistakes are mine.

It was really dark and dad was nowhere in the house. Alex wrapped himself in his blanket, curled in dad's bed - the only bed which was in the flat. Surrounded by the familiar scents of sweat and of his father, he fell asleep. 

***

Once, when he was sick, dad held him wrapped in the blanket; they were sitting on a couch and he was curled on dad's lap. 

***

There were days when dad would stay at home and make pancakes (the only children dish he knew). During those times he was smiling, and sometimes they would even go to the country. Like this one day, dad put him in the car and took him to the Victoria Lake, where they spent a few days. He remembered dad waiting for him in the water and saying to him: “You have to swim!"

***

It was a really hot day, the Kindergarten room was almost empty, and it was only him and Miss Kowalczyk. Alex's father didn't show up. Alex remembered the sound of a mower from the outside and a fly hitting the window, begging for an escape. Alex also wanted to run away, but he couldn't. Eventually he got up and just smashed the fly, leaving dirty mark on the window. 

***

The day barely started and Alex was lying in his room, listening to the silence of the flat. Something woke him up; he didn't know what. After a while, the strange sound repeated - something sounding like a barking - and Alex hid under his blanket but then sat up. He was alone at home, he should take care of it.  
With hesitation he placed his bare feet on the cold ground and looked around. There was nothing he could use as a weapon so he decided to go and check first and then call dad or flash by the intruder to the kitchen to take a knife; he watched in telly how people protected their lives with a kitchen knife.  
Slowly he opened the door and looked into the corridor. This time they had a proper flat, bigger than usual, with three rooms and even a bathroom. The sound repeated again and Alex located it in the kitchen. Not good, he won't be able to take a weapon...  
As for a five-year-old Alex Moriarty was well-informed about how to kill people. He knew everything about it; his dad used to kill people, and Alex watched plenty of movies about it.  
On his toes, he sneaked to the kitchen door and knelt down to look inside - one should always kneel so he won't have his head shot off. There was dad, sitting on the floor, the wall over him splattered with blood. Alex jumped on his feet and run towards his father.  
“Dad?!” The boy stopped just in front of him.  
Father looked like he was asleep; he was still breathing, that was a good sign. Alex wasn't sure what to do next. He was supposed to wake him up, but he never dared to touch his father while he was asleep. Dad never let him.  
“Dad?” He knelt down. “Dad? Wake up...”  
He reached to his foot but before he could touch it, the man opened his eyes taking a deep breath and making the sound again. There was blood on his lips; this was not good. Dad focused for a second and moved his hand slowly to the side of his jacket. The boy shifted closer and put a hand into the pocket, there was a phone so he took it out.  
“Toska...” Dad murmured. Alex sat down on the floor, searching the right name. He looked at his father and dialed the number. Soon he heard a sleepy voice answering the phone.  
“Yes?”  
“My name is Alex Moriarty,” said Alex, not taking his gaze away from his dad's face. “And my dad needs a doctor.”  
There was a second of hesitation.  
“Where are you?”  
Closing his eyes to focus he gave the man the address and hung up. He had to think for a second what people would do in films as he jumped onto his feet and ran towards his room to grab the first shirt he could find and came back. They would press something to the wound so the injured person wouldn't bleed out! But when he stood over his father, he had no idea where the injury was. The blood was everywhere: on the wall, on the floor, even on Alex's clothes. But his father was still breathing. The boy knelt down and put the shirt to his hand and dad - such a clever, wonderful man! - pressed it to his side with a groan. 

***

The girl was mean to him all day, but Alex had done his best to ignore her. But the moment he wanted to go to collect his crayons she said behind him:  
“Alex's parents didn't want him. So he lives with a stranger...”  
At first he stopped, frozen with a surprise and anger, but next he turned on his heels and jumped on the girl, pushing her. She fell on the ground with a cry and Alex sat on her belly and started to jerk her hair.  
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up, you stupid cow!” he shouted at her.  
She was stirring under him, crying, and he hit her to shut her up. 

***

They rarely went anywhere to celebrate his birthday so, sitting in McDonald's, Alex was looking around more than eating. Dad sat opposite to him with a cup of coffee watching the place; he was always very thoughtful and Alex wanted to be like him, but he always got distracted. Like now, by a balloon which one child had; the boy was sitting at the table across the restaurant and Alex looked at him for some time. But then his attention was caught by a woman passing by their table, leading a girl his age.  
Dad looked at them and then at Alex. Alex smiled at him. He was fine, his food was fine, he got a toy car and they were together. It were the best birthday he ever had. 

***

Dad didn't show up to the race, so there was no one who could call out his name and cheer him on, but he won anyway. And dad came to pick him up, so he saw Alex with the gold trophy and he smiled at his son proudly. 

***

“My name is Alex,. I like to swim and play video games. I live just with my father." 

***

School was not only useless, but he had to lie about his dad and he hated it. Dad told him to never mention anything about his work – which used to be killing people - and Alex tried to do so. He broke the rule only once.  
He woke up in a boot in a moving car, the sound and the smell were unmistakeable and Alex started to stir and kicked the lid in attempt to escape. He failed and the car was moving farer and farer and he couldn't do anything. Shouting and crying, Alex tried to catch someone's attention as the car was slowing down, but soon it became clear; no one was there to help him. Plans of beating the person mixed with cries while time was passing; he even fell asleep at one point. Eventually the car stopped and the lid opened. It was his dad who opened it, he was in casual black clothes and he was angry. Without a word he took Alex out of the boot and put him on the ground. Alex tried to hug him, sobbing in relief, but dad only held a hand on his shoulder, giving him a serious look.  
“Next time it might be someone else. Do you understand?” he asked. Alex could only nod with a terror. Just then, dad hugged him tight.  
Alex never mentioned his work again to anyone.

***

They were the only people there. Alex was looking out of the window while his father was driving with deadly speed; it was one of the empty roads in Arizona, and there was no one there since they left the little, shitty motel where they spent the night and ate their breakfast at the table with shredded table cloth.  
It was summer, and dad promised him the best holidays ever if he finished school, so Alex did it and now it was just the two of them, the road and the blue van and dad was teaching him how to drive and how to shoot. Everything looked like in the films he watched at home, except it was even better.  
Dad was driving with one hand, smiling and when Alex slipped the sunglasses on the tip of his nose he could see freckles on dad's shoulders; he was wearing only blue tank top, it was that warm. Alex rested his legs on the glove compartment, closing his eyes.  
“Give them back,” Dad said. Alex handed him his sunglasses with a smile. He wanted to buy a pair for himself when they would fill up again.  
“Wake me later?”  
“Don't sleep or you will miss your life.”  
Alex looked at him and just nodded.  
He liked to look at the desert anyway; there was a strange beauty in it, like nothing he could see at home. With hot wind on his face, Alex watched as the ground moved fast behind them. 

***

Dad was sitting on the chair, tilted back lightly so Alex could see the wound. It was long, cut on his forehead. Alex was stitching it under the white light in the kitchen.  
“Do you think they will come after us?” He asked calmly. Since they came to America, they were getting into troubles again and again. Dad getting into fights at bars or even on the streets, like being here meant to him something that Alex couldn't understand.  
“No, not this time.”  
“Pity, I hoped I wouldn't have exams in this school.”  
If they had to run away even a week longer, then they would be too late for the exams and he could change the school.  
“Stop complaining. Are you done?”  
“No. Keep still, I have to finish it.”  
Dad sighed lightly, but waited for some time more until Alex finished.  
If he doesn't follow in his father's footsteps he can always become a paramedic.  
***

Alex was sitting on the bench in the small, cold cell paved with white tiles; it was irritating and boring, so he lied down. He could feel the headache and the cold finally worm through the alcoholic daze. He was in the police station. For the first time in his life, age fifteen, and he was drunk.  
His favorite band was playing live that night and with a fake ID beer was easy to get. And it was smashing! He was having the time of his life. That was until after two or three drinks when he got under the stage. He remembered being dragged out, then the taste of blood in his mouth, then being hit against the police car.  
Now he was starting to shiver; it was cold in the cell, and the main light was turned off. They probably called dad, but he wouldn't come until morning. It wasn't like him to simply come and pick him up. He would probably think that a night in the arrest would teach Alex something. Curling into a small ball, trembling in sweaty clothes, Alex thought that it was a definite possibility; after this night he would learn one thing for sure – never let yourself get caught by the police. 

***

With his cock in Anna's pussy he couldn't think clearly; she was pretty, with long legs and a nice ass, and she wasn't that hard to pick up. She was perfect for the first time. They were shagging in his room – dad was out of town for some work – and they didn't stop themselves from moaning and crying. She was hot, with her tits moving rhythmically to his thrusts and her voice out of control because of his dick. And he was so very near to come when the door suddenly opened and he saw his dad. He looked at them and left, closing the door behind him.  
Alex stopped immediately. She moaned long in protest; he looked at her and with some surprise realised how ridiculous her big tits looked slopped on the sides. He stood up and pull up his pants.  
“Dress up and go out.” He said.  
Anna sit with a surprise.  
“What?! We were shagging, asshole.”  
“Yeah, whatever. My dad came back, so out.”  
Slowly, she took her clothes, put her bra into her bag and put on her skirt and shirt. He walked her out and came into the kitchen.  
Dad looked at him and cast him a case of condoms; without comment, he opened the microwave and put a ready-meal inside.  
Alex went to his room to put his t-shirt on and then they ate dinner together. 

***

He never learned how to ride a bike but at the age of sixteen he used to borrow a motorbike from some older friends and drive it sometimes even to the city during the night, when no one could catch him. Once he stopped on the red light – stupid thing, because the streets were almost empty – and looked up at one of the windows, where the light was on. At first he wasn't sure but he acted before he could think it over. There was a girl standing on the windowsill on the second floor.  
He dropped the motorbike and walked towards the house.  
The girl stood on the windowsill on the first floor, holding the window frame, looking down at the pavement. She was wearing t-shirt and jeans, and the wind jerked her long hair.  
“Oi!” he shouted standing under the window.  
She couldn't hear him but she looked at him – or at least Alex thought she did. He waved to her.  
“Go back, you stupid bitch!” he shouted.  
She moved back and front and she just dropped.  
Alex cursed and jumped closer to catch her or at least to save her from the crash against the pavement. It hurt like hell when he hit the ground, falling under her load as she cried with pain. Some people tried to help them; Alex heard someone calling the ambulance. He was alright, so he let them to take the girl away from him and, with help, he stood up. It was almost all fine; he had light headache, but nothing serious, so he sneaked from among the onlookers and picked up his motorbike to walk it away from the crowd and drove back home.  
It was probably the closest he has been to anyone's death, except of the fact that she wouldn't manage to kill herself. 

***

He knew Steven was watching him. He could feel the gaze sliding down his spine. The lockerroom was slowly emptying, the smell of shampoo and showergel still filling the air.  
Alex dried his shoulders and then reached for the t-shirt, not bothering even with the briefs. The fabric caressed his buttocks and cock and he smirked, knowing where Steven's gaze stopped. He threw the towel on the bench and put on the dark trousers. It was a funny feeling, when the skin on his ass met the jeans, unusual, it made him shiver.  
“You enjoying the views?” he asked, zipping the fly. He looked over his shoulder, rolled the towel and underwear and pushed them in the bag.  
Steven blushed lightly but covered it with a smirk.  
“I've thought you are selling yourself” he said and Ole and Karl laughed from the bench in the corner where they were dressing up.  
Alex smirked and sholdered his bag, coming closer to the other teen. Quickly, so he could not move back, he slide his hand in his hair and pulled him down for a kiss. Steven froze in surprise and stared at Alex, even when he let him go.  
“You are not my type” he said shrugging and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is how it ends here. 
> 
> I promised you Hamex however and I'm going to keep my promise. Next part (and it's half done already) is pure, shameless Hamex. I hope you are ready.


End file.
